Love Yourself First

How can you love and take care of the world, or even those around you - in your reality, when you can't even love yourself?

It's a question I came to, on my journey and through my experiences with embracing my self, I came to greater realisations of my potential, who I am, choice and being.

Through various techniques, some of others and some I invented, I learned first acceptance and then love, not to mention forgiveness. Yes, there was lots of forgiving going on when I first had the realisation. Phew!

There were parts of myself that I had been ashamed of for many years, and by accepting them, and forgiving myself for them, I was able to let them go, and through that, realise that there was no need to be ashamed in the first place. And so I went through my laundry closet of past experiences, emotions, reactions, decisions and faux-pas', looking at each that I could recall, and washing them away with forgiveness and acceptance.

Some may wonder, how can you forgive yourself for a thing, and feel truly clean of it, when only God or His Messengers can do such things? Maybe you think it has to be a priest or a rabbi, perhaps a monk? Let me say that it has to do with acceptance and responsibility. If you are unable currently, to accept that you are responsible for every action, every word and thought that you have had or experienced, then you need this piece more than anyone. All articles here, accept that there is only one God, but that we have different ways (religions, beliefs, ways) of appreciating the gifts of God.

I looked at things past, events where I had hurt people one way or another. In those moments, whether I reacted, or acted with determination, a choice was made. The only person making it was me. Even if someone angered me, I chose to let them anger me, so I accepted responsibility for things past. Later I moved to things present, however I'll elaborate on that more in another piece.

Since I accept that we are all aspects of God, forgiving myself is straightforward. At least it was after I got into the swing of things. "I forgive myself for stealing Dads car when I was 12." "I forgive myself for being a burden on those I love in those times Ive required medical attention", from the profound to the profane. I forgave myself for it all. A tremendously liberating experience.

With forgiveness and acceptance well underway, I moved then to Love. I started by staring at myself in mirror, looking straight into those dark chocolate eyes, and saying "I love You". Well, the 'backtalk' I got was "Yeah, right, you havent shaved and you look fat in that t-shirt". Great, this was going to be uphill, or so I thought.

By now, acceptance and forgiveness were coming more naturally so I forgave myself for feeling fat, and shaving, well thats no big deal to remedy. For the time being, I left my body out of the love equation, focussing more on simply repeating the thought and words as my mantra du'jour - I love my self.

Interestingly, in starting, the affirmation was "I love myself" later becoming "I love my self". To me this symbolises the integration I began, of seeing my Self as one - body, mind and spirit. Anyone who knows me, also knows how passionate I can be for a new thing, and in this case I was really loving the loving I had for myself. It was remarkable because I lost the urge for sex for a time, which for me is almost as important as oxygen. Being a male would just add a whole slew of stereotypes to your thinking right now, so I won't mention that detail.

Through my process, I was able to stand in front of the mirror and truly love what I saw. Sure, I could alter my diet and excercise more, I could change things. I respect that the body is a machine that requires maintenance, but I stood there and for the first time in a very long time, I loved my body accepting every nook and cranny as well as the lack of hair. Sure, I'd love to change what I see, but before you can, you must accept what you have and be thankful for it, for things to change.

As Jim Rohn says "For things to change, you have to change". I'm glad I remembered that line, because that is seed enough for many an article.

My message is simple, Love Your Self, unconditionally. You cannot love another, truthfully, until you do. Love all that you are, and especially love your past, be generous with your forgiveness of yourself, heal and gain strength, because once you have healed yourself, you will naturally want to heal an other.

You will walk with a lighter step, in the ongoing knowledge that there is nothing you have done that cannot be forgiven, accepted or loved, even though right now, it may seem beyond logic. Day by day you will find yourself forgiving not only the past, but the present, and your Self will become more united at each day.

Peace,
-Mikel